Each Al-anon visit is different. Today there was the not-so-faint scent of cigarette smoke, and now my clothes smell that way. But you know what? That won't keep me away -- I need these people.
And Allen surprised me by showing up. I haven't heard what he thought of it yet - he's on his way home from Sam's Club, bringing me Mukluks.
I feel God's spirit in these people, and it is easy to love them. They really want to help me. I really want to be helped and then I want to help them if I can.
Yesterday on the phone, we spoke to a married couple, Gary and Diana, that we have known for about 15 years. Actually Allen has known them for over 40 years. They just called to wish us a happy New Year. And I just found out that both of them were alcoholics. Gary hasn't had a drink in 34 years. Diana I'm not sure about but being a nurse, she could get drugs, and her alcohol problem was compounded by other substance abuses. They both urged me to continue going to Al-Anon.
At church this morning, I felt the absence of my usual joy, and I missed it. Am I blaming God because my perfect little world is not so perfect anymore? How has He blessed me? Let me count the ways. I felt like saying, "How can I find joy in you Lord, when you've let this happen to Mark?" Then my granddaughters came running in and Melinda and I sang a duet that she had arranged just because I was so crazy about the song, and I was immediately reminded of how very blessed I am and how good God has been to me. Then Allen showed up to hear us and videotape our song. My precious husband. My precious loved ones. How very blessed I am, after all.
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