Al-anon meeting

Well that was very helpful and I feel better already. But it's not going to be easy. Somehow I have to let Mark know that money will no longer be forth-coming. The group thinks that he is drinking up the money instead of helping Jennifer.
Of course I have to realize that this group of people have dealt with hardened drug addicts who lie and use other people. I believe Mark when he says he is helping Jen. But I know he is spending a lot of money on his drinking too. I don't wish to help him do that.
They also think that Jennifer is addicted to the Vicadin (however you spell it!) and that her back problems are really between her ears. I don't agree with that either. I did let them know that she works to support herself. It doesn't matter what they think really, but somehow it does matter to me what they think and say about Jennifer and Mark. They mean well but they are wrong about Jennifer. Her back problems are real, just as mine were real a few years ago. However I do believe she has probably become addicted to the Vicadin - she has been taking it far too long.
The main thing I have to remember is to let go and let God, and more than just saying that, it has to get down into my heart where it really counts. Mark is a man. As much as I want to help him, I believe he is an alcoholic. Alcoholics lie and use people. That is not a part of Mark's personality but alcoholism changes the personalities of the people we love. Tough love is the name of what they are trying to help me do, and it is very difficult - it's not called tough love for nothing. He is probably going to get very angry with me when he visits and my bar is empty and I won't let him drink at my house. And I have to stay tough about it. He may not even want to come see me for a while. I have to keep the goal in mind that I'm not going to do anything to help him drink or to let him think it's OK.
Mark knows already that I am worried. He knows he's out of control on the drinking. I have not told him I know he's an alcoholic. He may not have admitted that to himself yet.
I'm taking it one day at a time - baby steps - can't handle the whole thing at once.